transient_orange | Adventures at the Endo (Reply)

So I've been cranky for about a month now. Super cranky, liike avoid people cranky, so I don't end up biting someone's head off just because they said something at the wrong moment for me - which seemed to be just about any moment. I've been unflexible and just vile. It sucks. I hate it.

And it's because my damned thyroid levels were off again.

Now my TSH is low. Really freaking low. So my dosages have been changed again. This time the doctor gave me samples, because she feels bad that I have to change my scripts constantly. I'm going back in mid August, which means another blood test. But hopefully I'll be in a better mood.

The other news, I need another biopsy. My left side nodule is bigger, so she wants to biopsy it to be safe. And my right side grew it a teeny tiny friend, so I've got two nodules now. Oh the joy of it all. (Yes, I'm being melodramatic, but for once I feel it's justified.) She kind of looked at me worriedly when she said I'd need another biopsy, but I just shrugged and said it was okay. It's no big deal and I'd rather stay on top of these damned things than to find out I've got cancer raging through my system because I decided to ignore the doctor. Though it is very doubtfully cancer - considering my body can't seem to get these hormone levels right.

It sucks having a disease that's hard to control. It sucks to have these bloody mood swings and feel the need to avoid people. It sucks to have the desire to be antisocial, because I know I can't fucking deal with things. And it sucks to have to get blood drawn three or four times a year and have a needle stuck in my neck annually. My neck is uncomfortable as is.

The weight gain is not fun. Getting my metabolism back into the gear is really tough - as par cor with the damned disease, which means I've got to change my diet. No more giving into temptation.

So yeah, that's my update and my whining about this. Things should be leveling out soon and maybe I'll be able to be more social again. Maybe I'll have a little more energy to share my friendship with other people again, rather than hiding.