(no subject)

The past few weeks have been hard on me. I've been moody, irritable, and anxious. I've been bitey and overly opinionated, and I'm working on that.

I've decided that it's something I need to work on. I don't want to be a bitter old lady, I want to be a happy one, with cookies, hugs, and strength - so I need to start making changes now. It's going to take time, but there is more good in me than bitterness, and I'm working on my health issues.

So I'm going to work on things. I'm going to work on placing my overbearing mothering aside, push away the judgemental part of me (though I will forever be a skeptic on certain things), and do my best to be a better person.

I guess I've unknowingly hurt people in the past, and now they think that I'm horrible and a bitch. I never have meant to hurt anyone - besides, back then, if I meant to, you'd know it. I'm not one that easily hides any emotion. I feel that even though my feelings may be a bit of a rollercoaster ride, that I'd rather feel the broad spectrum. Now that I've been on meds that help make the spikes less, I understand now that I feel better with the gentle hills rather than the crazy hills, loops, and spirals.

I want to be solid. I want to offer the best side of me to my friends. Hell, I want to offer the people that need me the whole package - someone that is loving, caring, and happy. I'm working on this. I'm trying. I don't want to hurt people. Hell, I don't want to hurt me. So thanks for being here for the ride, hopefully it will even out even more.

*hugs to all*