transient_orange | (no subject)

On September 9 I was in a car accident, it was my fault. I tried to take a right hand turn into a parking lot, and hit a Ford instead. Initially, the only damage to my car was that I lost the front bumper, passenger light carriage, and the passenger side fender was crushed near the front. It didn't seem to be that bad - but I'm not a professional.

Yesterday the insurance company called and said it was probably totaled. I finally cried, but I had to hold my head together because I had to go to work. I lost my shit when I got home. I hold the blame, but I'm so happy that no one got hurt. The car protected me, but I wrecked it. I feel guilty and shameful still - not as bad as yesterday, but it still lingers. It is a form of mourning, and I'm not good at mourning. Today we got official word that it was a total loss.

Tomorrow we go to sign off on it and collect what was left in the car. Then over the next week or so, we'll make the decision on what the next car will be. I'll be honest, I loved the audi, and I'd love to get another one, but they are bloody expensive. For what that is worth, they are fantastic cars and beautiful to drive. The A4 was named Eddie, after the ships computer on the Heart of Gold from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

It hurts. I hate wrecking cars. I hate being in car wrecks. I hate the money involved, the time wasted, the paperwork, the running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I feel as though I'm covered with spikes and want to spit acid at anyone that gets too close, I'm not feeling very rational at the moment. My heart aches, but this is coming to a close and it is time to move on. I'll go tomorrow and thank Eddie for keeping me safe, for being a most excellent car. And maybe I'll cry.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

::hug::

Thanks. Cleaning out the car was easier than I thought it would be. Now on to finding a replacement.

I'm so, so sorry hon, I HATE that post-accident guilt sickness feeling. I'm so glad you weren't hurt.

You summed up that feeling perfectly. It such a weird ball of emotions, my mental image shapes it like a sea urchin. I'm glad no one was hurt, I think that helped me right after the accident. As soon as I learned everyone was okay, I was able to start exchanging information, looking at damage, and so on.

Love and hugs.

Thanks, hon. The search begins!

*hugs* It takes surprisingly little to total an Audi. I still kind of miss the S4, even though it wasn't mine!

I'm glad you and the Ford passenger(s) are at least physically okay after the accident.

*hugs* They are great cars. I was appreciative of how comfortable they are for long drives, because I hate long drives. The A4 was great as a driver and as a passenger. But the idea of them being easy to total doesn't really make me want another one.

I'm very happy that everyone was safe. The driver and passenger of the Ford were fantastic. I couldn't have got into an accident with nicer people.

Oh Sammy!! I'm so sorry to hear about your accident, but oh so glad no one was hurt! Also, I miss you very much and hope you are doing well.
I'm going to be in Santa Clara next week. Is that anywhere near you?? If so, it would be awesome to see you!

I miss you too!! Yes, Santa Clara is near us, about 30-45 minutes away. How long will you be in town and will you have some free time? I'd love to see you. It would be so awesome to have some time to talk and catch up. *hugs*