transient_orange: (corax)
[personal profile] transient_orange
Yesterday I got the gut feeling that I needed to call my mom. No one answered and I gave up without leaving a message - this is normal with my family. We leave messages only if it is an emergency, a birthday, and even then we might not.

My mom called back a couple hours later to tell me Chloe was at the vet and it didn't look good. She called me again later in the evening to tell me that they had decided to let her go, there was just too much going wrong and she was in too much pain.

Twelve years ago I got two kittens at 2.2 weeks old and bottle fed them. It was a rewarding and difficult experience, but so worth it. The black female kitten was named Chloe (for the song "Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns" by Mother Love Bone), and her gray brother was named James (for the song "Not Now James, We're Busy" by Pop Will Eat Itself).

James passed away a year and a half ago of congestive heart failure. About a year before that Chloe had been diagnosed with sinus cancer, and was given a couple of weeks to months to live - obviously she didn't agree, 'cause she lasted two and half years after the diagnosis and surgery.

Chloe was the first kitty to teach me about unconditional love, what it felt like to be gifted with it and to really give it. It was a bittersweet lesson for my 23 year old self, to realize the love I could have, maybe should have, understood was something a small black kitten had to teach me, rather than the people around me.

I used to get Chloe and James those kitty fishing poles, with the elastic strings and a fluffy critter on the end. Every time I got a new one, at some point Chloe would chew through the elastic and take off with the fluffy critter. Sometimes she would give it a bath in her water bowl, but one of her favorite things to do was put it in my mom's purse when she wasn't looking. My mother would find the toy later, usually while she was about to pay for groceries. Chloe had her way of showing her love.

So Chloe, my love, I will miss you so much. I thank you for your love, for taking care of my great-aunt through numerous surgery recoveries, for staying with my mom while my aunt was in surgery, for being brave and beautiful. You will always be in heart, Chloe-bug, I hope we will meet again.
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November 2013

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